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I almost lost everything. My body. My sense of self. My place in the world.
I didn’t know it was perimenopause. No one told me. I just watched myself slowly unravel.
Nothing felt familiar — not my life, not my relationships, not even my own reflection.
There was no language for the grief.
No map for the identity loss.
I lost all desire, or care, and meaning was fading.
There was no place to fall apart.Â
And there was rage, and fear, and a dismembering of my mind and body. I thought I was failing, I felt like a fraud, and I believed I was truly broken.Â
And yet, I kept teaching.
I was still offering presence work. Still working with the plants.
Not because I had it all together, but because it was the only thing anchoring me in the storm.
I wasn’t guiding from mastery. I was surviving through practice.
Still am.
This offering doesn’t come from having arrived.
It comes from walking the spiral in real time, with mud still on my hands.
What I was experiencing wasn’t a personal failure.
It was an unacknowledged initiation.
Welcome to The Living Spiral
A perimenopause initiation rooted in presence, myth, and the wisdom of transition.
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The First Invitation:Â Begin Where You Are
For those who feel like they’re coming undone, not in a poetic way, but in the “I don’t recognize myself, and I want to burn it all down” way, this space was made for you.
The Call is the first gate in The Living Spiral, a ceremonial journey that honors perimenopause as a sacred initiation rather than a pathology. This 3-week threshold series is an intentional container to listen deeply to the body, to honor and name what is unfolding, and to enter an open and safe space to be, without needing to fix, rush, or explain where you are right now.
Before we unravel, something stirs. A restlessness. A grief. A nameless ending. It’s not a diagnosis. It’s a Call.Â
 Have you heard the call?
You've found a safe place to listen deeply to the call of initiation. Come nurture your awakening self.Â
INTRODUCING...
The Living SpiralÂ
This wasn’t something I set out to create.
It didn’t arrive with clarity or permission.
It emerged because something deep was rupturing, and I didn’t know what it was.
There was no map. No elder. No one to tell me what I was entering.
By the time I realized I was in a passage, I was already drowning inside it.
The Living Spiral grew from that moment,
from the book I’ve been writing in the aftermath,
and from the need to speak to what nearly took me under.
I didn’t want advice or protocols.
I didn’t want to be told how to manage or override what was happening.
I needed a place where unraveling wasn’t treated as failure.
Where silence didn’t mean something was wrong.
Where I could fall apart without being rushed to provide answers.
This isn’t a course.
It’s a shared threshold, a place to pause, to breathe, and to stay with what’s alive, dead, burned, and shattered. It's a place to be held, seen, and heard, just as you are.
It’s an offering born not from knowing the way,
but from having walked without one.
What You'll Receive
How The Spiral Holds Us
This container is shaped to meet you where you actually are,
not where you’re supposed to be by now.
It’s here for the moments when your body knows something is happening
before your mind has words for it.
For the long middle stretch where nothing is resolved
and the old ways of moving through the world no longer work.
Each week offers a practice of presence, not to prepare you for something later, but to support you now.
We are here to tend the nervous system, and to let the body speak before it has to scream.
Each week you’ll receive:
- One guided meditation or somatic listening practice
- A short audio teaching
- A written reflection
- Four live gatherings — Opening, Midpoint, and Closing and Integration — held as shared space for listening and witnessing
There are no assignments, and no expectations; your presence is all that is needed. You are not expected to keep up, only to arrive, just as you are.
This series offers space for insights to land, for the body to be heard, and for you to feel and be supported where you were once alone
Week 1 – The Disruption
This week isn't about understanding.
It’s about arrival.
Something has shifted beneath the surface, and the body knows before the mind can name it.
We begin by letting the confusion speak,Â
by landing in the discomfort without needing to solve it.
By listening beneath the noise of fear,
and feeling what’s already stirring.
Week 2 – The Unraveling
This is the week we stop pretending everything is okay.
We let go of roles, the hectic pace, and expectations of performance.
This threshold is not a failure.
It’s what happens when the old scaffolding begins to fall apart,
and we stop trying to hold it together.
This is not collapse.
It’s the intelligence of transition.
Here, we create space to let go of who we’ve been,Â
without rushing to become someone else.
Week 3 —The Listening
This is not the end. It’s remembering. You are still inside the spiral, but the thoughts, urgency, and expectations no longer support this transition. This week is about witnessing what has shifted, and listening in a new way of being with what's true. We are here to remember how to hear ourselves again.
Who This Is ForÂ
If you're holding it all together, but secretly falling apart...
If your body is changing, your identity is dissolving, and no one around you seems to notice...
This space was made for you.
You don’t need to be ready. You don’t need the right words. You don’t even need to articulate what is happening.
Just bring what’s alive and real.
This space is for you if:
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You are in perimenopause — or sensing its early stirrings
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You feel a quiet unraveling inside your energy, identity, or sense of self
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You’re longing for a space that honors perimenopause as a sacred transition, not a problem to fix
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You’re carrying questions or emotions that feel too complex for quick answers
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You’re exhausted by holding it all together and want permission to soften, slow down, or fall apart
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You’re craving nervous system support, mythic language, and real presence
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You want to be witnessed, not advised
Whether you’re seeking language, community, or simply a place to rest inside what’s unfolding, this space was created for you.
The first gate — The Call — begins February 7.
You’re invited to enter exactly where you are.
I'M ENA.
I didn’t know I was entering perimenopause.
All I knew was that my body was breaking down. I was exhausted. I couldn’t work. I couldn’t explain what was happening. My identity dissolved. My family and marriage almost did too.
When I finally asked for help, I was told:
“You just need to ride it out.”
The Living Spiral grew from that need — from the absence of real initiation, real witness, and real language for this passage.
It came suddenly and without context: frozen shoulder, loss of energy, a dissolving of identity, career, and self. As a guide, a practitioner, a space-holder — I didn’t feel like I was allowed to fall apart. I felt like a fraud. I didn’t know what was happening. And when I finally asked for help, I was told, “You just need to ride it out.”
What I needed didn’t exist.
I needed elders. I needed mirroring.
I needed a space where it was safe to not know, to not perform, to fall apart and still be held with reverence.
This offering grew out of that need, that absence, and the feeling like I was crying into the void.
The Living Spiral is a space for nervous system care, honest witnessing, and mythic orientation — not advice or 7 steps to awakening. It is a place to listen to the deeper wisdom within, especially when the old maps stop working.
If you’re in a season of change — named or unnamed — you are welcome here.
Echoes From the Spiral –
“I'm grateful and humbled by the experience(s) as well as the opportunity to grow and learn.  This was a beautiful class. The right pace and setting.” M. D.
 “When you speak, the teachings come out, sometimes I have to go back and listen again because I know there is greater message there.” G.T.
“The gentleness of the teachings that came from Ena helped me find a sense of deep spaciousness and calm that is not normally my state of being. he amount of work you did Ena and the level of support really surprised me! Thank you I learned so much from you.” P. G.
"The heart is a doorway. The question is not whether we can open it, but whether we are willing to stand at its threshold and listen."
Ena
Have you felt something shifting… but you can’t name it?
Maybe your body is speaking in new ways.
Maybe your energy feels different, or your identity no longer fits.
Maybe you’ve done all the right things — held space, stayed strong, kept going — and still, something deep inside is asking you to pause. To listen. To let go.
If any of this feels familiar, you're not alone.
The Call is a space to meet yourself exactly where you are — without needing to explain, fix, or push through.
Here, we tune out the noise of expectations and drop into the quiet truth underneath.
We remember how to listen to the body, how to speak from the inside out, and how to stay present when things fall apart or stop making sense.
This isn’t about improvement.
It’s about remembering who you are when everything else is stripped away.
If you're in a season of change — named or unnamed — you are welcome here.
You're Invited to The Living Spiral
If you’re ready to stop holding it all together...
If you want to fall apart with reverence...
If you're craving a place to feel what no one else has let you name…
You're invited.
Choose your path:
Things You Might Be Wondering (While Falling Apart):
Do I need to be in perimenopause to join?
What if I can’t attend the live sessions?
What is the time commitment?
Will I be expected to share or participate?
Is this a therapeutic or clinical space?
What if I’m still unraveling when this ends
A Living Invitation
This series is part of a larger unfolding spiral that may include future gates — The Descent, The Burn, and The Return — offered throughout the year. Each gate stands alone, while together they form a complete arc.
There is no requirement to continue.
You are invited to enter where you are.